Sunday, August 22, 2010

Lasting Longer Question Answered!

So I have been listening to your program for about a year now and I must say that both you and Derek are just amazing. Anywho, I have a question that I want to ask. I am too shy to call so I decided to email. Ok just to be clear I am a gay man; so the question is when I am in a relationship with a partner and we go to have sex I am usually the bottom. However, every now and then I like to top my partner my problem is that I cant last long. As I enter I seem to blow quickly no matter how hard I try to hold back. It is just kind of a let down when I want to make it last long. Do you have any ideas on how to make this better or suggestions?
The Dildo Whisperer's Response
Hey Jim,

I have a couple of ways to help you deal with this issue.
1. You could get a desensitizing lube like Durex Play Longer and put that inside the your condom before fuckintg your boyfriend. That will help you from getting off as quickly by numbing up your dick a bit. Rememeber less is more when using this type of lube and you should follow the directions carefully.

2. This solution is going to require a little practice on your part but will have a longer lasting impact for you. When you masturbate I want you to pay close attention to your balls right before you cum. You will feel them pull up into your body just a bit as they prepare to shoot your load. Next, time you are masturbating and feel this sensation I want you to very carefully pull your balls back down and lay off the stroking for a few moments. This will keep you from cumming. Once you have regained your composure I want you to resume stroking. If you practice this excercise while masturbating you will find that you will over time be able to last longer. It is all about training your body to do what you want it to do and when!
3. The third and final option is to try a cock ring. Get a leather one that snaps or velcros or you could try a nice neoprene one and place your cock and balls throught it. This will prevent the blood from flowing out of your cock making you feel larger and harder. It will also prolong your orgasm a bit. You can even wear one as you are using either of the other two options mentioned above.

Velcro Cock Ring

I hope this helps. Let me know if you ever need any other ideas.
Your Dildo Whisperer

If you have a sex or sex toy related question you would like to ask the Dildo Whisperer just send her an email at Don't forget you can find many of the toys she talks about at the Dildo Whisperer Online Store.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Question about Lube

I need some help .... my husband is dead set on using Ky because he likes the viscosity of it but it tends to dry out to quickly for me... Is there something you can recommend that's like a silicon gel to make us both happy, and another one for toy play.

Wet just came out with a new lube called Synergy.

It is pretty think and it is a combination water/silicone base so it won't dry out but should feature the qualities that he likes in KY. You can pick up Wet Synergy from my friends over at Or you can always choose from the great selection of lubes that I carry at the Dildo Whisperer Online Store. I think you would like the Boy Butter H2O.

You need to stress to your partner the importance of having a good lube and one way of doing that is by explaining that the chemistry of lube has come along way since the days of KY. After all KY was not designed to be used for sexual intercourse. It was designed to be a surgical lubricant for doctors to use during exams. Today, we have lubes being specifically designed for the friction caused by intercourse. These lubes glide better and provide a much safer sexual experience. So tell your guy you need to make a switch for health and safety reasons and I think he will be shocked by the quality of lubes available.

Your Dildo Whisperer
If you have a question that you would like answered by the Dildo Whisperer send it via email to

Friday, August 13, 2010

Your Questions Answered!

So I have been getting a ton of questions lately at my email address from people asking all kinds of stuff about sex and sex toys. I figured that instead of just answering their questions I would post some of the questions and answers I provided here on the Dildo Whisperer Blog. Names will always be changed to protect the identity of the person asking the question. 

I am looking to get a strap on. Do you suggest the beginner kit. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

Hey BN,
Thanks for emailing me. I am happy to help you find the right strap on. I like to buy my harness and dildo seperately so I can pair the best toys to fit my needs. Sometimes when you buy a kit you get a great harness but the wrong size toy. Buy buying them seperately you build a strap on that is just right for your needs.
For the sake of this email I am going to suggest only a few items but if you want some other options let me know and I will look into a few for you.
Let's start with a couple of harness options.

Velvet Vibrating Harness
This harness is comfy to wear and have a small bullet vibe to clit stimulation of the wearer. Not a super expensive harness and a good beginner one. It has a snap in O ring that can be switched out for other sized dildos and it is machine washable. 

Not sure what the size is of who will be wearing the harness but if you are a big girl like me you might want to check out this harness:
Diva is a harness made to fit a bigger body but it also has a wider strap to help keep the harness close to your body during use. It also features the snap in O rings that can be switched out for smaller or larger dildos. 
This next one is a little more high end and made of leather.

This harness has a Jock Style strap in the back and features a snap out O ring that can be changed to  so you can use any size dildo. 
OKAY Now Let's talk dildos--- I am going to recommend getting a goold silicone dildo. Silicone is made to last so one of these dildos will last you a life time.


This is a nice average size dildo with a nice g-spotting series or ridges down the shaft. It is made by Tantus and is made out of a high quality Silicone and features a flared base so it will fit nicely in a harness. 


I little bit shorter then the Charmer but is specifically designed to stimulate the g-spot because it features a slight curve. 
It is made by Tantus and is made out of a high quality silicone and also has a flared base so it will fit nicely in a harness. 

These are a couple of good places to start but if they aren't exactly the right fit for what you are looking for let me know and I can offer a few more suggestions.

Your Dildo Whisperer

Most of the items mentioned above can be purchased at the Dildo Whisperer Online Store. IF you have a question you want the Didlo Whisperer to answer send it to her at

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

August Giveaway

It is time for the August Dildo Whisperer Store Giveaway!!!

Given how much all the Dildo Whisperer Fans seem to to enjoy our monthly giveaways I decided to make this month a simple one. Every customer who makes a purchase at the Dildo Whisper Online Store will be entered into a drawing. At the end of the month the winner will have their choice between the following items: 

Petite but powerful, sleek and silent, Vantage is perfectly designed to align with the external curves of your body. Crafted from exceptionally hygienic and durable raven black silicone and anodized aluminum. Accenting the piece, the aluminum controller houses a single button that glows a gentle pink as you scroll through five speeds of vibration. Rechargeable and waterproof.

OR you can choose the:

Rude Boy and Sidekick Package
This curved probe is made to gently rock against the prostate for an amazing massage while the nubs on the base rub externally on the taint. A removable vibrator is an added bonus. This toy was designed for solo play. Rocking on the Rude Boy is oh so good!
Sidekick is a stretchy, soft, open ended TPR shaft sleeve with delicious ribbed interior. Or turn it inside out for smooth stroking action. Use with lots of Lube. Perfect for the shower.

But I know how much you guys love extras so for the month of August every person who purchases between $100-$199 in product will be sent a bottle of Love U Water Lubricant by your good friend Romaine. 

Those of you who spend $200 or more will be sent a Flesh Jack by the Dildo Whisperer! 

With great giveaway items like this what reason do you have not to shop at the Dildo Whisperer Online Store today? Don't forget school will be starting up soon so make sure that college kid you know goes to school with the safest sex option available a new sex toy! 

Fine Print:
This giveaway runs from Aug. 1, 2010 12:00 am EST until Aug. 31, 2010 11:59 pm EST.  The drawing will be held on Sept. 1, 2010 from all eligible customers. The winner will be notified by email on or before Sept. 5, 2010 and will have 10 days to claim their item. 
All items sent by Romaine Patterson will arrive separately from your order placed online at the Dildo Whisperer Store. All items will be shipped by Sept. 5, 2010. 
Please send any questions to